Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken — It’s Protecting You

Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze, Feign, and Fawn: The 5 Trauma Responses Explained

When most people think of stress or danger, they imagine the classic “fight or flight” response. But our nervous system actually has more than two ways of protecting us. In addition to fight and flight, there are three other responses—freeze, feign, and fawn—that explain why we react the way we do when faced with overwhelming stress, trauma, or conflict.

Understanding these responses is not about labeling ourselves as “good” or “bad.” Instead, it’s about recognizing that our bodies are wired for survival. When we learn to notice these patterns, we can begin to regulate our nervous system and create healthier responses.

1. Fight

The fight response is activated when your nervous system believes you need to stand your ground or eliminate the threat. This can look like anger, irritation, defensiveness, or a strong drive to control the situation.

Everyday examples:

• Snapping at a loved one during an argument.

• Feeling the urge to “win” or push back when challenged.

• Becoming physically tense and ready for action.

Healing approach: Channel fight energy into healthy outlets like movement, exercise, or assertive communication rather than aggression.

2. Flight

The flight response is about escape—your body believes safety is found in leaving the situation. This often shows up as anxiety, restlessness, or overworking to avoid discomfort.

Everyday examples:

• Walking away from a conflict instead of addressing it.

• Keeping yourself constantly busy to avoid emotions.

• Feeling panic and wanting to “get out” quickly.

Healing approach: Grounding techniques, mindful breathing, and gently pausing instead of running from the feeling.

3. Freeze

The freeze response happens when neither fighting nor fleeing feels possible. The nervous system essentially “hits pause,” leading to numbness, paralysis, or dissociation.

Everyday examples:

• Feeling “stuck” and unable to make decisions.

• Going blank during a stressful conversation.

• Shutting down emotionally.

Healing approach: Gentle body-based practices like stretching, shaking, or slow movements can help “thaw” the freeze response.

4. Feign

Less commonly discussed, the feign response is when the body pretends or plays dead—like an animal “playing possum.” This is the body’s way of minimizing harm when danger feels unavoidable.

Everyday examples:

• Withdrawing completely during conflict.

• Pretending to be fine when you’re not.

• Minimizing your needs so you won’t be noticed.

Healing approach: Reconnecting with your authentic voice and practicing self-expression in safe environments.

5. Fawn

Fawning is the response of appeasement. It’s a survival strategy that seeks safety through pleasing others or avoiding conflict.

Everyday examples:

• Saying “yes” when you really mean “no.”

• Over-apologizing to keep peace.

• Basing your worth on how well you can meet others’ needs.

Healing approach: Practice boundaries, self-compassion, and learning that you can be safe without self-sacrifice.

Moving Toward Healing

These five trauma responses are not personal failings—they’re deeply ingrained survival strategies. By bringing awareness to them, you can begin to notice when your body is in fight, flight, freeze, feign, or fawn. From there, practices like mindfulness, grounding exercises, therapy, and nervous system regulation can help you respond more intentionally and compassionately to life’s challenges.

Remember: Your body is not against you. It’s always trying to protect you. With awareness and practice, you can teach it that safety is possible here and now.

If you’re navigating stress, trauma, or surgical menopause, learning about your nervous system can be life-changing. Visit here to explore tools for nervous system reset and holistic healing.