Turning Loss into Meaning: A Different Way of Seeing Life

Last week, a client asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:

"Do you ever feel resentful toward people who haven’t lost what you have lost? And how do you deal with those feelings?"

I paused for a moment. The truth is, that feeling is very real. When you’ve experienced deep loss—whether it’s your health, your fertility, or a version of the life you thought you’d have—it can be hard not to look at others and think, “They have no idea.”

But here’s what I told her:

Through the pain of loss, we come to know the true value of life. We see the gift in a single day, a relationship, an interaction, in ways that many people may never grasp.

This perspective is not something we come to realize lightly, but it is something we’ve gained. It’s a knowing that sets us apart—not in a way that makes us better or worse, but in a way that deepens our experience of living.

We are afforded the opportunity to experience life differently because of what we know. And in that difference lies the potential for meaning.

We get to choose:

• How we spend our time.

• How we relate to others.

• How we influence the world.

Turning pain into purpose is not about denying grief or loss. It’s about transforming it—recognizing that even in the hardest moments, we’ve been given a perspective that can lead us to live more deeply, love more fiercely, and connect more honestly.

That, to me, is the gift.

P.S. If you’re walking through loss, grief, or change and want to support your body and mind along the way, I’d love to invite you into my Nervous System Reset experience. It’s the exact tool I use to continue healing my own nervous system, finding calm, and creating space for peace and resilience.