Reclaiming Confidence After Surgical Menopause: Your Journey Back to Self

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger was staring back at you? That’s exactly how I felt after my surgery. One day I was me—a vibrant, energetic woman with dreams and plans—and the next, I was someone I barely recognized. It wasn’t just the physical changes, though those were startling. It was the mental fog, the emotional chaos, and the weight (literal and metaphorical) that seemed to pile on overnight.

If you’ve experienced surgical menopause, you know exactly what I mean. Suddenly, it feels like your body and brain aren’t on the same team anymore. But here’s the good news: confidence is the bridge that can bring them back together. Let me share my story and some tools to help you find your way, too.

My Journey: Losing Myself and Finding Confidence

When I stopped hormone therapy at the advice of my doctor, I wasn’t prepared for how quickly my body would change. Within months, I gained 20 pounds without changing my eating habits. My jeans didn’t fit, my energy plummeted, and my brain… oh, my poor brain. The brain fog was relentless. I’d walk into a room and forget why I was there. I’d struggle to remember simple words during conversations, leaving me feeling embarrassed and disconnected.

The worst part? I felt like I was losing myself. Who was this woman who didn’t recognize her own reflection, couldn’t trust her memory, and felt invisible in her own life? Confidence seemed like a distant memory, something I’d left behind along with my ovaries.

But here’s the thing: I refused to stay stuck. Slowly but surely, I learned that confidence wasn’t just about looking good or having it all together. Confidence is about reconnecting with yourself—body, mind, and soul—and showing up for your life, even when it feels messy. And trust me, if I could do it, so can you.

Why Confidence Matters in Surgical Menopause

When you lose confidence, it’s not just your self-esteem that takes a hit. It affects how you move through the world, how you care for yourself, and how you connect with others. Confidence is the key to rebuilding the relationship between your brain and your body. When you start to believe in yourself again, your actions follow: you make healthier choices, set boundaries, and show up for your own wellbeing.

Confidence doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days. (Spoiler alert: we all do.) But it does mean you have the tools to navigate those days without losing sight of who you are.

Step 1: Start with Self-Compassion

Let’s be real: it’s hard to feel confident when your body feels foreign and your mind feels unreliable. But the first step to rebuilding confidence is self-compassion. Instead of beating yourself up for the weight gain, the brain fog, or the emotional rollercoaster, try talking to yourself like you would a dear friend.

Imagine your best friend called you up and said, “I’ve gained weight, I can’t think straight, and I feel like I’ve lost myself.” Would you say, “Wow, you’re a mess”? Of course not! You’d say, “Hey, you’re going through a lot. Be kind to yourself. You’ll get through this.”

Now, turn that kindness inward. Self-compassion isn’t just about feeling better; it’s a powerful tool for transformation. When you stop criticizing yourself, you free up energy to focus on what really matters: healing and growth.

Step 2: Reconnect with Your Body

One of the hardest parts of surgical menopause is feeling like your body has betrayed you. But here’s the thing: your body is still on your side. It’s just trying to navigate this new normal, just like you are. Rebuilding confidence means learning to trust and care for your body again.

Start small. Movement is a great way to reconnect with your body, even if it’s just a gentle walk or a few stretches. Instead of focusing on losing weight or fixing what feels broken, focus on how movement makes you feel. Does a walk outside lift your mood? Does stretching help you feel more grounded? Let those positive feelings guide you.

Another powerful tool is mindful breathing. When the brain fog or anxiety creeps in, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself, “I am safe. I am here. I am enough.” This simple practice can help you feel more present and in control.

Step 3: Reframe Your Mindset

Surgical menopause can make you feel like you’ve lost control. But here’s a mindset shift that changed everything for me: instead of focusing on what I’ve lost, I started focusing on what I could create.

For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never lose this weight,” I started saying, “I’m learning how to care for my body in new ways.” Instead of thinking, “My brain doesn’t work anymore,” I reminded myself, “I’m finding tools to support my mind.”

Positive affirmations might feel silly at first, but they’re a powerful way to retrain your brain. Write down a few affirmations that resonate with you and say them daily. Here are some to get you started:

- “I am strong, capable, and worthy.”

- “I honor my body and its journey.”

- “I am reconnecting with myself, one step at a time.”

I created a short, 8 minute meditation to build inner strength and self confidence here. Just relax, listen, and follow along.

Step 4: Build a Support System

Confidence doesn’t happen in isolation. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can make all the difference. That’s why I created the online support group in Facebook. It’s a space where women like us can share our stories, celebrate our wins, and lift each other up.

In this group, you’ll find women who understand exactly what you’re going through. Whether you’re navigating brain fog, struggling with weight gain, or just need a place to vent, we’ve got your back. Together, we can remind each other that we’re not alone and that confidence is within reach.

Step 5: Celebrate Small Wins

Rebuilding confidence isn’t about waking up one day and feeling amazing. It’s about celebrating the small wins along the way. Did you go for a walk today? Celebrate that. Did you set a boundary or say no to something that drained your energy? That’s a win. Did you look in the mirror and smile, even if just for a second? Huge progress.

The more you acknowledge and celebrate these moments, the more your confidence will grow. Remember, confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up for yourself, one step at a time.

Your Journey Back to Self

If you’re feeling lost right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Surgical menopause is a challenging journey, but it’s also an opportunity to reconnect with yourself in a deeper, more authentic way. Confidence is the key to unlocking that connection, and it’s something you can cultivate, no matter where you’re starting from.

Take it from me: I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the weight of self-doubt and the fog of uncertainty. But I’ve also felt the power of self-compassion, the joy of movement, and the strength of a supportive community. And I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to feel like yourself again—maybe even a stronger, more confident version of yourself than ever before.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to join us in the Facebook Group. Let’s walk this path together, celebrate our wins, and remind each other that we are capable, worthy, and unstoppable.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.