Part 4: Twenty Years Later – The Insights That Changed My Life

Reflections, Lessons & Love

It’s hard to believe it’s been twenty years. Two decades since the word “cancer” changed the course of my life forever. In this final part of my series, I’m stepping back to reflect on the journey as a whole—the lessons cancer taught me, the unexpected gifts, and the spiritual growth that unfolded over time.

This is the part where the healing deepens, where meaning is made, and where I offer my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has been part of this path. My hope is that in sharing these reflections, you might find comfort, clarity, and compassion for your own journey too.

Lesson 1 – We Are Not Separate

There’s a deep spiritual truth I’ve come to understand: we are not separate. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around. I’ve come to believe that we are all part of the same source—whether you call it God, the universe, or something else entirely. This life is a journey for growth, a path of remembering who we truly are. Cancer, as painful and terrifying as it was, wasn’t something outside of me. It was another part of me. And it showed up not to punish, but to teach. It broke me open, and through that cracking, the light got in. I began to see life differently—not as something happening to me, but something unfolding within me.

Our time here is short, but it’s purposeful. We're meant to learn, to grow, and to love. And when we remember that we’re not separate, we stop fighting ourselves—and start healing more deeply.

Lesson 2 – Cancer Strips Away the Noise

A cancer diagnosis has a way of stripping everything down to its essence. The busyness, the roles we play, the pressure to do more and be more—it all falls away. Suddenly, your priorities become crystal clear. What matters most rises to the surface: love, presence, purpose. The things that don’t matter fall away, and the things that do become blindingly obvious. During treatment, life becomes stark—each moment is about survival. You take nothing for granted. The clarity that comes is a gift wrapped in pain, but it’s a gift nonetheless.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand: some of that “noise” is actually the living. The enjoyment. The thriving. And it’s safe to return to that. It’s safe to enjoy the softness of life again, to let the distractions back in—just not the ones that drain your soul. It's ok to let yourself relax and be present in the moment. It's ok to spend an afternoon talking to a friend or taking in an evening sunset.

Cancer gave me the gift of discernment. I now know how sacred my energy is, and I’ve learned to be intentional with how I spend it and who I spend it with. These are insights few other life experiences offer, and they are invaluable. Not everyone gets that kind of clarity in their lifetime. I hold it close, even now.

Lesson 3 – Wherever You Are Is Okay

The most transformative lesson I’ve learned is this: wherever you are on your journey, it’s okay. There is nothing wrong with being exactly where you are. This path—this life—is for learning, not for perfection.

If I could speak to my younger self, I would wrap her in the biggest hug and tell her, “You’re doing great.” I’d tell her to be kinder to herself, to soften the voice of criticism, to stop striving so hard. The struggle, the pressure, the self-doubt—it was never necessary. Acceptance would have been the softer, more loving path.

So I offer that same compassion to anyone reading this: give yourself permission to be in your process. Find peace in the moment, not because everything is perfect, but because you are learning. And learning is enough. Learning is the point.

Deep Gratitude

As I reflect on the last two decades, I’m filled with overwhelming gratitude. To the doctors and nurses who cared for me, thank you. To the friends and family who stood by me, who prayed for me, who saw me through my darkest days—thank you. To the strangers who supported me with a kind word or a gentle smile, thank you.

To the women walking through surgical menopause—whether due to cancer or any other cause—you are not alone. You are seen. You are loved. This journey is not easy, but you have the power to honor your body, your path, and your growth. I challenge you to find compassion for yourself, to soften into gratitude for how far you’ve come, and to know that your life still holds so much beauty.

If this blog series has spoken to you, I invite you to join my Facebook group and follow my page, Surgical Menopause Wellness, to stay connected. Together, we are stronger. Together, we heal.

Thank you for walking this road with me.